The other day I was chit chatting with an old mentor of mine. He is a successful psychotherapist in New York and the topic of my insomnia came up in conversation. He was concerned for me and got to asking questions, as all good and handsome psychotherapist do. One question was as odd as it was telling: "When you wake up in the middle of the night, what sort of thoughts are reeling through your mind? Super anxious bad ones? Or, happy fun good ones?" Evidently this was a big deal.
Unlike most people who wake up panicking over unfinished tasks, bills, and other great stressors, I wake up to good happy (if obsessive) thoughts of sailing in a big regattas, racing dream cars, or storm chasing EF5s across tornado alley. Or some fun combination of a few of them. Hey you get pretty insane not sleeping for long periods of time, and yes, storm chasing is like my dream job. I am a child of the 90s, I grew up on Twister and Discovery Channel specials about super violent storms. Don't judge me.
I didn't get it. What the heck does it matter if it is my overdrawn checking account waking and keeping me up or a jolly cloud punching session with my custom antimatter personal jetpack? The net result is me not sleeping. Successful physiotherapist mentor person goes on to tell me that there is this principle in psychology called the inner child. Maybe you know of it. He or she demands attention and must have their needs met or they get real pissy and misbehave. What the inner child needs is pretty trivial... he just wants to have fun. Evidently if you didn't know, you are suppose to enjoy life, have fun, and 'do you' once and awhile. This all feeds the inner child, which is really just the selfish douchie part of yourself known as your Id. I must have been starving my inner child since I suppose the point at which I grew up after college and starting doing big boy shit like working and feeding myself.
What happens if you starve your inner child? Well... it lashes out and gets it's needs met in other more creative fashions such as but not limited to, keeping you up all night with fantasies of wonderfully fun things like skydiving and water skiing. What a jerk. I assume when I sleep, I have less control over the volume of whining this little brat dispenses. He wakes me up, then once he has my attention he doesn't let go. A child taking advantage of a man in a weaker state, this dude is calculating. So, I ask the good looking wise one what is my prognosis? He says, "Simple... you just need to have some more fun and you will sleep better."
It doesn't help that I am an adrenaline junky and fun for me (us?) involves expensive things like waverunners and/or extremely dangerous things like motorcycling, all of which are extremely expensive in time, which I have even less of than money or body parts I can afford to lose. What the heck do I do now? Oh yeah, DRUGS OF COURSE! I am going to silence this little bastard with FDA approved wonder chemicals, problem solved. So I started taking prescribed meds to help me sleep and it worked... for about two weeks. That is the bitch about this kind of insomnia, it doesn't respond well to drugs [citation needed] and as a matter of fact when I stopped taking the junk I actually slept marginally better. Damit!
"He will not be silenced," the all knowing mentor says to me. "He is a child and you can't force him gone or ignore him, he is a part of you and you have to deal with him one way or another. You will have to figure out a way to include more fun in your life." Oh thats it? Ok no problem! Let me call my wife now and explain to her that I need to pull a few Gs out of the savings account so I can buy a sailboat, then spend time playing with it during our almost totally booked weekends, all so that I can feed my inner child and therefore sleep better. Why didn't you just say so, let me start picking out spinnakers now.
I will let you all know how fitting more fun into my life has been working out for me in the next episode. But for now please enjoy this picture I drew of a typical fight I have with my inner child in the middle of the night. Allow my misery to entertain you and maybe feed your inner child!
Unlike most people who wake up panicking over unfinished tasks, bills, and other great stressors, I wake up to good happy (if obsessive) thoughts of sailing in a big regattas, racing dream cars, or storm chasing EF5s across tornado alley. Or some fun combination of a few of them. Hey you get pretty insane not sleeping for long periods of time, and yes, storm chasing is like my dream job. I am a child of the 90s, I grew up on Twister and Discovery Channel specials about super violent storms. Don't judge me.
I didn't get it. What the heck does it matter if it is my overdrawn checking account waking and keeping me up or a jolly cloud punching session with my custom antimatter personal jetpack? The net result is me not sleeping. Successful physiotherapist mentor person goes on to tell me that there is this principle in psychology called the inner child. Maybe you know of it. He or she demands attention and must have their needs met or they get real pissy and misbehave. What the inner child needs is pretty trivial... he just wants to have fun. Evidently if you didn't know, you are suppose to enjoy life, have fun, and 'do you' once and awhile. This all feeds the inner child, which is really just the selfish douchie part of yourself known as your Id. I must have been starving my inner child since I suppose the point at which I grew up after college and starting doing big boy shit like working and feeding myself.
What happens if you starve your inner child? Well... it lashes out and gets it's needs met in other more creative fashions such as but not limited to, keeping you up all night with fantasies of wonderfully fun things like skydiving and water skiing. What a jerk. I assume when I sleep, I have less control over the volume of whining this little brat dispenses. He wakes me up, then once he has my attention he doesn't let go. A child taking advantage of a man in a weaker state, this dude is calculating. So, I ask the good looking wise one what is my prognosis? He says, "Simple... you just need to have some more fun and you will sleep better."
It doesn't help that I am an adrenaline junky and fun for me (us?) involves expensive things like waverunners and/or extremely dangerous things like motorcycling, all of which are extremely expensive in time, which I have even less of than money or body parts I can afford to lose. What the heck do I do now? Oh yeah, DRUGS OF COURSE! I am going to silence this little bastard with FDA approved wonder chemicals, problem solved. So I started taking prescribed meds to help me sleep and it worked... for about two weeks. That is the bitch about this kind of insomnia, it doesn't respond well to drugs [citation needed] and as a matter of fact when I stopped taking the junk I actually slept marginally better. Damit!
"He will not be silenced," the all knowing mentor says to me. "He is a child and you can't force him gone or ignore him, he is a part of you and you have to deal with him one way or another. You will have to figure out a way to include more fun in your life." Oh thats it? Ok no problem! Let me call my wife now and explain to her that I need to pull a few Gs out of the savings account so I can buy a sailboat, then spend time playing with it during our almost totally booked weekends, all so that I can feed my inner child and therefore sleep better. Why didn't you just say so, let me start picking out spinnakers now.
I will let you all know how fitting more fun into my life has been working out for me in the next episode. But for now please enjoy this picture I drew of a typical fight I have with my inner child in the middle of the night. Allow my misery to entertain you and maybe feed your inner child!
